Life-Changing Battle

Most people say life is like a gamble. But for me, it is a battle, a constant one. I never imagined, nor thought my life would be like a battlefield. I always thought life would be a wonderful thing you’d wanted to have. Time changes and so is my life. I never thought I would be having a colorful and adventurous life, so to speak. Met lots of people there, got new friends out there and all that. But life doesn’t just end there. It was totally a different world when I decided to have my own family, and that’s when my battle in life started.

When I met my ex-fiancé, I thought to myself: ‘this is a life-changing situation’ which I could say it really did changed my life, but not in a way I expected it. After the preparation of semi-expensive garden wedding including the reception, catering service and cake designer, the wedding never materialized. And when I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant, to my utter dismay, my ex-fiancé didn’t want to have a child and wanted me to terminate my pregnancy which he will provide for the expenses or he will totally stop any communication and support if I decided to continue with my pregnancy.

It was one of the most difficult decisions during that time because I don’t want to be a single/unwed mother, just thinking of the huge embarrassment it will cause my family. But after 4 months dealing with depression and constant encouragement from friends, my OB-Gyne and support from my parents who never said a single disgust regarding my situation, I decided and stood by it to continue with my pregnancy. 

I have my little beautiful girl but I lost my mother after suffering from stroke which took her 7 months being bed-ridden before she gave up her own battle for her life. Though I didn’t shed a tear when she died but deep inside I know I lost the only person who was with me the whole time while I’m getting through the entire pregnancy and who never sleep just to take care of her only grand-daughter and I know she loved so much.

Though my daily finances is a tremendous battle for me, considering I’m a single mother and head of the family, it never stopped me to live and continuously fight not only for myself, for my family but also for my faith in God who never left me in the middle of my battle in life.